I would like to say thank you to all of the people that have supported my book Shadow Dance in some way, from allowing me to pester you about it in its infancy up through the purchasing and reading samples of Shadow Dance.

Please, if you feel inclined, feel free to write a review at Smashwords and Amazon.  If you like Shadow Dance, please remember to give it a rating.  This will help me devote less time to marketing and more time to writing the next installment.  :)


Thank you all again!

Shadow Dance is Published !!!!!!!

Well, it seems that I have been published!

My book is called Shadow Dance.  Currently the book is only available in Ebook format, but hopefully I can get that changed.  I can only do that if you, my readers, like it enough to buy it.  So please do.

To help make that goal a reality, the publisher has agreed to allow me to offer it for a discount.  You can us the coupon code TH49D to purchase Shadow Dance from Smashwords.com for 25% off the cover price.  This coupon is only good until October 17th, so please use it like crazy until then.

The book is currently available only at Smashwords.com, however the good people at Smashwords are working on making it available at all Ebook stores.

Here's a quick-link to Shadow Dance:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/236696

Shadow Dance, an Ebook by John Harrison

www.smashwords.com

The lands are in chaos and everyone is trying to survive. The last queen was slain through treachery and decades have past since there has been any form of solid rule in Cennicus. In the interim the races have split from one another and are amassing for a war that threatens to consume them all. T...

And now for something completely different...

Well...it has been awhile since I have updated here. Sorry 'bout that...(I say as if anyone reads this *laughs nervously*). I will do my best to be a bit more diligent in the future...sometimes I get so wrapped up in what is happening around me that I forget not everyone knows what is going on. Since this is true for those that live in the area as me, it must be especially true for those that can only see my life via the web. That being said... I guess I have a lot to update...so this may get a bit lengthy...and for that I apologize to those that hate to read long posts. Hmmm I guess I should start out by saying that I am no longer employed....at least not by HP. as many wise people have said..."All good things must pass" or "This too shall pass" Either way you look at it comes down to the same thing...The job, though it was fun and fairly easy overall, at HP ended. Now if you are among the few that are reading this that stops yourself and says, "He worked at HP?" Don't worry....everyone catches up after the act...it juts takes some longer than others. For those of you out there that are thinking, "His job ended? WTF?" This next bit is for you. It seems that, although they have been saying for the last 7 years that my job was going away, that there was a plan to offshore the job even back then, for those that are unaware...off-shoring is just a fancy way of saying they sent the job to another country. Now it did seem a bit abrupt when back in September, 9/11 to be exact, they cut the number of employees in my team from 33 to 9, but it was just part of a larger plan.


So...my job was off-shored and I was given a severance package. But this severance was a pretty good one. It allowed me to have several months off with pay. This was especially nice since my daughter came to visit me for a month and arrived the day that my severance started. So my first month of severance was spent playing games and having fun with my beautiful daughter.


From there I went to Moscow, ID on a motorcycle trip. One of my friends and I had discussed my visit and so, after my daughter left, I decided that the visit needn't be postponed any longer. The trip was great...but it wound up lasting longer than was planned. I was originally going to visit him for 5 days at the most...but nature decided to postpone it...when I say nature I mean fires. On the 3rd day of my trip I discovered that both of the main roads to southern Idaho was cut off by fires...leaving me stranded, so to speak, in Moscow until they could get the fires under control.


Not counting the fires, the trip up north was wonderful and exciting...I managed to spend some time with an old friend...Groovy, it was awesome...you made it extremely enjoyable...I even managed to ride my bike quite a bit. On the downside...I had to repair my motorcycle and almost died due to severe dehydration when I drove over Whitebird Pass on my way home. My job hunt was also limited, not completely mind you, but definitely stunted it...





Wow...it has taken me a while to continue this...and things changed so much already since I started writing this....


So....I guess I should start at the new top...


I now have a job working for Carlson Leisure Services. Carlson is a frequent flyer redemption travel agency. What that boils down to is that they are the ones that get the calls from almost anyone that has a frequent flyer account of some sort...

There is also someone that I am interested in at my new job...she is a very nice girl....now before any of you send me nasty letters about me lowering my standards or shifting my morals...I want you all to know that I have agonized over being interested in a co-worker the whole time. Now, in my defense...she is great. Although I do not want this to turn into a mushy list of all the qualities that she has that makes her perfect for me, I feel the need to list at least a few. So here goes...

1. we have very similar tastes in things
   
2. we have very similar interests in general
   
3. she makes me feel light headed and dreamy just by looking at me
   

see...that wasn't too bad....was it?


Aside form that I have been lost in life...

talk to you all later.

Death...tolls taken and tolls paid

So...life has been pretty bad for me recently...I think a few of you know that...but, just in case, here is a quick summary.

On Monday May 21 I just got home from a camping trip and came into work to find that a major atrocity had occurred. The gunshots were still ringing in many Moscow, Idaho residents’ ears and my heart pounded with the news.

The instigator of the tragedy was an ex-employee of mine from when I was a manager at American Building Maintenance (ABM), Jason Hamilton. I knew that he had always been a bit off...and more than a little unbalanced...but I never imagined that he would actually kill his wife, a police officer, and a church caretaker.

To make the matters worse, the cop he killed was a friend of mine. I used to chat with Lee Newbill when he was a night guard for the University of Idaho. He regularly threw me out of buildings as he made his rounds and locked them tight for the night. Many a night passed with me walking beside him and talking about the events of the day…or what was coming down the proverbial social pipeline and coming to Moscow.

Needless to say, when I heard that Jason had killed Lee and then shot himself, I was filled with whirling and conflicting emotions. I felt the urge to rush to Moscow to set Lee’s death right…but the man I wanted to punish for it had already done that. I felt impotent and alone…more so than I usually do.

I filled the following days by visiting various news sites as I tried to piece all of the details together. I laughed mirthlessly at the fact that almost every news site plagiarized each other in their coverage of the story. I say almost because I found one that didn’t, http://www.newwest.net/index.php/main/article/shooting_wreaks_devastation_in_moscow_idaho. This one became my life blood over the two days that followed while all of the information was released to the public.

But life moves on…and although I felt hollow and somewhat disoriented, I made due. Then Thursday hit. I remember sitting at work and staring at my computer screen as I wondered what I should do during my shift when my cell phone rang. My friend’s voice soon filled my ear and even in my shock-filled-hazy-mind I registered the profound sadness in the way he said hello. I rocked forward in my chair slightly as his next words tumbled from the phone and into my mind. “My grandma died today.”

I remember blinking hard and responding somewhat distantly. Something about how she died and if he was ok. And he responded by saying that he was ok and that she had died of some known condition that they had been expecting…but not at the same time. He went on to tell me how animated she had been and that, even though they knew she was ailing, his whole family had been somewhat taken by surprise about the whole thing. Our conversation drifted to what was going to happen to him and his family and after a far too brief discussion I asked if he needed me to go out there when I got off work. He politely declined and we hung up.

I don’t recall what I did when I left work…but I know that I wound up in Mtn. Home before the night was over. My brother and I went to the Stock Yard, one of the many bars in Mtn. Home, and soon were up to our livers in beer. The next day passed somewhat hectically…I drove home and then went to Emmett to meet with my friend’s mom, and editor, in order to go over my book. I had no illusions of her actually wanting to discuss it, but I brought my things with me…just in case. Once our far too brief discussion about the book, and her life, was finished, I flew to Boise to catch a Hockey game. From there I went back to Mtn. Home and to the bar with my brother. It wasn’t until that night that I learned of Jack Hamilton’s death.

Now, just for clarification, Jack was not related to Jason in any way shape or form. Instead Jack was the husband of one of my mom’s old friends, Darleen. My brother had let it slip while we were at the bar on Saturday Night. Since he had no idea how it had happened…I decided to talk to my mom the next day. It seems that he died of a heart attack on Thursday, about the same time that my friend’s grandma died. This was almost too much for me. I felt my world close in a little more as I stared at the walls a bit. I shook it off and prepared for an even more hectic day.

Saturday I met with some friends and saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie…then I went to a barbeque and chatted with more friends…I did my best to focus on what needed to get done…and to relax. I managed to do most of that, but not all. My mind was still reeling and nothing seemed quite solid.

Saturday night I went back to Mtn. Home and met up with my brother and watched movies…and Sunday I spent around my family as we tried to get a grip on everything that had happened. Everything seemed too normalish and I slept poorly, plagued by the normal nightmares dealing with my time in the service that come every Memorial Day intermingled with those of loved ones dying.

Monday came around and I had a date to go to, so I got up early and started to get ready. I had barely woken up and opened a soda when I heard my phone ring. It was my mom. Her voice was calm and slightly soothing…in fact it was a little too calm. She said that my Uncle Arlin had died that morning. I blinked and asked her how. She said that he died of a stroke. She then asked me to tell my brother, whose house I was at, and I agreed and hung up the phone. Shortly after that I put on my motorcycle gear and drove home.

My date went better than I had hoped and left me wondering exactly where I stood with the gorgeous lady (yes she knows who she is…and since she may be reading this I will leave it at that). From there I went to a friend’s house to pay her for some SCA garb that she had made me. After that I went to Veteran’s Memorial Park to get some sword fighting in. From there I made my way to scribe’s night and then on to home.

The problem is that nothing really seemed real after I had heard of my uncle’s passing. I mean, I know it all happened…but I was mostly numb. It was as if I had been dreaming the whole time and that when I awoke on Tuesday morning and went to work most of it faded as a dream does as soon as you awake.

So…for those of you that lost touch with me for a bit…that is why...for those of you that had no idea what happened…now you do.

From the ashes...

Wow...it has been a little bit since I have posted anything here...sorry about that.

Well, after a long discussion with my brother, I have pulled myself back from the brink of oblivion (the wonderfully descriptive term I use to describe my random bouts of soul searching) and have decided to focus once again on getting my novel published.

Now I know that this might come as a surprise for some of you...but I am trying to publish a novel. Somehow I feel that a recap is needed...so get ready for a history lesson ;)


It all started back in January of 2004 when I was on my second semester back attending a local university (which I graduated from last July). I was completely swamped with school work and bogged down with projects at my job. I was starting to loose my grip on things. My grades started to fall and I became very irritable. I know that I was horrible to be around...but I just couldn't snap out of it. (Looking back at it the fact that I was only getting an hour or so of sleep really didn't help matters.)

In one of the conversations I had with people around me, my ex-wife was one of them, I made some comment about how horrible it is that movies adapted from novels never seem to do the stories justice. Somehow that was turned into a challenge and someone, I am really not clear about who, said that they didn't think that I would be able to write a novel. I know this sounds weird, but welcome to a day in the life of me. The only thing that is not normal about this is the fact that I have little to no idea who challenged me, but that I blame on sleep deprivation.

So, I undertook writing the novel in between studying and working on projects. This was a "in my spare time" project and came to be a "I need a break from everything else" project. All I know is that it worked. By working on this in between studying and working I managed to get my grades up and my work projects finished. I also managed to finish writing the novel by time I graduated.

So that is where it stands. The novel is written. It has been edited once and is in the process of a re-edit. All that is left is for me to write a query letter and send it to a literary agent or two as I start the process of trying to get my book published.


This leads us to why I haven't started this phase of the process yet. I could come up with a great story about how I was waiting for someone to finish editing it one last time or even something witty like the challenge was to write it not to publish it, but both of those reasons (although they might seem valid) are lies.

The real reason is that I was afraid. Yeah, it all boils down to that. I was afraid. Questions like: What if I couldn't get anyone to read it? What if all of the people that critiqued it for me lied? What if it gets published and it flops? What if it is a HUGE success and I am expected to write a sequel? What if...?

It wasn't really until my brother called me tonight out of the blue and spoke with me that that all changed. You see, although we never really saw much from the same point of view when we were younger, he has his moments of clarity that are simply astounding and while we were on the phone my thoughts settled and a few little things sprang forward to my attention.

Now instead of trying to recreate the conversation, I will spare you the little details and just list what the things were. So here they are in the order that I recalled them...

1) My dad read the book and loved it. Now the book is a fantasy novel and my dad doesn't really read fantasy. So the fact that he loved it means that it might have been good. (Not to mention that I hadn't given it to him. I gave it to my sister and my dad snatched it from her and wouldn't let anyone read it until he was done with it.)

2) My mom read it and loved it. Again my mom does not read fantasy either. The only real criticism that she had was that there were elves in it. (To me that isn't a bad thing in a fantasy book.)

3) I was going through a bunch of papers that my parents saved from when I was a kid and I stumbled upon a story I had written when I was 10. It was a fairly complex story, especially for a ten year old to have come up with, and it was mostly well written. It was ten pages long hand written ion some of the most atrocious cursive I have seen since I last wrote anything. This story was important because evidentially I liked to write stories even when I was younger.

4) My brother mentioned something about not caring about what others think. I think was what brought me to my senses and helped motivate me again. His comment was not in reference to my story, but that makes no difference. That comment when put into the context of my story eliminates at least half of the questions that plagued me and the questions that it didn't eliminate it put into perspective.



So...there it is. Tonight I am going to finish my query letter and start my search for a literary agent.



Wish me luck.

Friendship and What It Means

This journal is in reference to Moonfall’s most recent journal about friends and friendship. For me these sorts of questions, ones pertaining to friends and friendship, are answered completely differently than what, in my experience, most people might come up with. But, in order to get a true accounting of my idea on this topic, I think I need to give a little history first.

Yes my dad was in the air Force...so in theory we moved quite a bit. But after I was born we moved three times in my life. But I never "fit in" with the town we settled in. Like Moonfall, I lived in a small town and had to fight for friendships of any kind. It wasn't until I had completely given up on trying to make friends that I developed a few...one of which has lasted through today. The result was that everyone knew me...I would like to think respected me...but no one was a friend.

The main difference between Moonfall’s town and mine was that people were expected to leave my home town and then come back instead of just staying there their whole life. Which is what everyone did, they left. My senior year in high school I was asked more times than I care to remember, "So where are you going to go when you get out of school." Occasionally it was mated with, "I look forward to hearing about it when you come back." This really unnerved me. Mainly because the town was a dive and the only real economy was the Air Force.

Since then, I joined the Army...and lost two good friends in an "accident". Lost the third to "non-communication"...basically put he didn't want me in his life because I was a social pariah...

After that I went to school...In the five years I was attending the chosen university...I managed to have many great friends, all of which I wound up outside of their lives within a year or two. Not because I moved or they moved, but because they no longer wished to associate with me.

I spent many long hours trying to determine the why of this. I wasn't a jerk to any of them that I can remember...in fact I was always there for them when they needed me...still am to this day if they would ask...the only thing that I could figure was that they were not ready to accept the responsibility of friendship.

I know that sounds odd...but being a friend is a choice and that choice, like many others, brings with it a staunch responsibility. This responsibility is to be there for your friend when they need you. It isn't hanging around them when it is convenient...but when needed. It requires a sacrifice.

I am not saying that friends come before your own life goals...but they should come close. I know that if I have plans for an evening...concert, movie, diner, etc...and a friend called me distraught...there would be no choice. I am there for my friend. If I even hear that a friend of mine needs help...or is depressed...or just needs someone to listen....I am there for them.

I have, unfortunately, also determined that this does not hold true for everyone. There have been too many times in my past in which I have experienced the sting of friends not being there. Not just one time, but every time. The support group that I attempted to build so painstakingly would crumble at the first hint of strife. These occurrences not only disparaged me...but made me realize that I cannot hold others up to my standards. If I did, none would meet it. Heh...sometimes I don't meet the standards...but ultimately they made me think that there was nothing that would last and that people were unable to show the level of commitment that I thought should exist.

This probably sounds one sided...so before I go on, I need to mention the fact that there were, and have always been, people in my life that seem to live just to prove my theory wrong. One of them is Mr. Trees (alias used for anonymity reasons). No matter how much time passed with no little to no contact, mostly being no contact for periods that ranged over a couple of years, Mr. Trees has always been there when I needed him to be. He would call out of the blue after a stint of no contact for over a year just when I needed a friend and all of my others were "not available".

Since I realized that there were people like that I have tried to find them and surround myself with them. To some extent it ahs worked...but to others it has not. So far I think I have amassed a small handful that at least meets my high standards most of the time....for all of those that don't...well...let's just say that my time is better spent elsewhere.

Issues with September

Well...Life officially sucks.

Here is a recap of my week...

Sunday I turned 33...This is an up point...In fact the up point that the rest of my week falls off of.

Sunday, I loose access to my yahoo account entirely. This sucks...But it is the truth...So here, for reasons that I will not go into...Is a copy of the letter that I sent the yahoo team in the attempt of getting my account back...

on second thought...Since it has a lot of account info that if it fell into the wrong hands would surely be the demise of my valiant attempts...Instead I'll post a different one I sent to Yahoo that day.

"I logged on to my yahoo messenger account on Thursday September 7 around 5:30 PM MST. I was on messenger chatting with friends until Friday September 8 around 1: 30 AM MST.

I next logged into my messenger account from a different computer on Sunday Sept 10 around 2 PM MST. I received an offline message saying that several complaints have been received that I was harassing people from Yahoo Security. There was a link in the message that I clicked on to give me more information. It was a yahoo web address....But the page would not load. I was on my way out so I logged out of my account. Since that time I have not been able to log back into any of my yahoo accounts.

I cannot log into my messenger, my 360 or my e-mail.

Like I said earlier I have been using Yahoo as an email and messenging service for well over 10 years (I think it is almost 13 now). I would like to have access to my account again. If there were harassment charges filed against me I would like to know who filed them and why, since I rarely speak to anyone not already on my friends lists. "

Monday, September 11, my manager fired 2/3 of the team.

Tuesday, Hanna tells me that she works on Wednesday so she cannot go with me to file the paperwork for our divorce. In this case the word file is used to mean file and sign.

Wednesday, I run out of cigarettes and find that Yahoo STILL hasn't gotten to my case, even though they say it is a 12 to 48 hour turnaround and restoral.....What's more is that they have no way to contact the security team except by e-mail....Even their manager cannot contact the management of the security team.....DUMB!

Even in my management classes at BSU (Bozo State), we learned that a company, especially a communications company, needs to keep lines of communication open so that issues can be resolved quickly. Hell, I even wrote a paper on how well Yahoo covers this in their own company....And as it turns out, it was all propaganda....Every report loosed by the heads of Yahoo have been an attempt to brainwash the masses in order to hype their own company and peddle their wares....Its starting to remind me of one of those old side-show-con-men jobbies....


Anyway...I am really looking forward to this weekend...The last SCA camping event that I can go to this year...and who knows maybe I can sell a hat or two as well ;)